Don’t start with forever

If you wish to break a habit or remove something from your life, don’t adopt the mindset that you’re giving it up forever. Perpetual cold turkey can work for some people, but for many it can be really hard.

If you fail at something you’ve committed to “forever”, it can be really difficult to understand what this means going forward. Does this one misstep mean you’ll never be able to stop? Do you start making shallow excuses for your actions? Do you try again with a sense that you’ll fail again? Will “this time” be the “real time” you’ll break the habit?

This rigid mindset can also cause you to question your integrity in other areas of your life. If you’ve gone back on a commitment you’ve set for yourself, how can you truly commit to other endeavours or other people?

So rather than making a commitment “forever”, start with a time period that’s challenging but achievable. It doesn’t matter how long this time period is, it just needs to be significant for you. Giving up something for just a day can be a significant challenge.

If you finish the time period successfully, you’ll have a better understanding of your relationship with the behaviour or vice or you’re trying to manage, and you can then determine the next best step.

If you’re unsuccessful in your attempt, you can embrace it as a learning exercise rather than a complete failure. Perhaps the time period was longer than you anticipated, so a shorter time period would be better? Maybe the time you lasted would actually be seen as a win for you? Maybe the conditions weren’t helping you and you need to prepare more effectively?

Your experience with short trials is important to manage your intention in a considered way. If your time period is “forever”, you’re setting yourself up for failure.

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