Comfort in, dump out

“Life is Tough (but So are You)” is a fantastic book by Briony Benjamin that provides guidance for navigating difficult times.

One practical example from the book that Bec and I have found helpful is the ‘Ring Theory’, created by Susan Silk and Barry Goldman.

The Ring Theory is a great framework to support someone in a crisis (and not say the wrong thing).

As Briony describes, the person going through the crisis is the inner ring, and then every concentric ring contains those next closest to this person.

The person at the centre can talk about their stress to anyone in any ring.

But people in other rings can only share their fears and worries with someone in a ring bigger than theirs.

So if your friend is going through a crisis, you shouldn’t share your fears with their partner, but you could share your fears with your hairdresser.

“If you’re talking to someone in a ring smaller than yours, then the goal is to listen and help. Not to give advice, or share your fears, but just to offer comfort. Comfort in, dump out”.

I highly recommend getting a copy of Briony’s book for yourself or others (it makes a wonderful gift).

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