A well-crafted No

Writing a considered decline to an invitation is probably one of the most effective uses of your time. We don’t consciously practice saying No much, which means we’re prone to causing offense with a hurried no, or worse, agreeing to something we don’t want to with a weak yes.

The keys to a well-crafted No are conveying empathy and producing value for the recipient. Here are some thoughts you may trial in your future declines:

  • Open with gratitude for receiving the invite. Be sure to make it personal, but not over-the-top. It’s always helpful to appreciate that you are desired in some way, and that’s a wonderful thing.
  • Frame the context for your inability to accept. Be sure to make it honest, but not too descriptive. You may either be prioritising something else, or have made a conscious decision to not participate in invitations of this nature. Framing also helps the recipient understand that you’re likely to decline future invitations.
  • End by providing value where you can. You may be able to suggest someone else, or offer alternate ways you’d be happy to engage. Just be sure to reinforce the value you gain from the connection and ensure the recipient is appreciated.

Taken together, this thoughtful consideration may take you around 10 minutes to craft. Be sure to keep your response succinct, as most of your time should be given to thinking about what to say.

And one final thought – it’s much easier to write a well-crafted No than to speak it. If you feel pressured to respond in the moment when asked, there’s no harm in saying you will think about it and get back to them with a message.


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