Giving yourself an out

How many times have you made a promise to change but didn’t keep it? 

While some people find it very effective to set a commitment around a behaviour, others find it too rigid. They’ll still make the commitment, but they’ll also give themselves an out, which inevitably means the commitment won’t last. 

I’ll only make the commitment to myself, so if I don’t keep it no one else will know. 

I’ll make the commitment, but it will come with conditions, so that if something happens outside of my control I can’t be blamed for not following through. 

I’ve made a commitment, but I won’t start today because I want to keep enjoying myself for a little bit longer. 

If you’re prone to giving yourself an out when you want to change, there are two ways you could make your intent more effective.

If you like making rigid commitments around a behaviour, then you need to remove these outs as much as you can. You can do this by first getting really clear on what you want, which gives you a firm reason for pursuing this desired change. You then want to create as much internal and external accountability as possible to reduce the likelihood that you’ll choose an out along way.

If you don’t like making rigid commitments around a behaviour, then try to commit to a change in lifestyle. Sustainable change is living like you’ve already achieved your desired goal. The “outs” will still appear, but when they do you can consider them in the context of the life you’re trying to live, which may be easier than viewing them as a barrier to a specific goal.

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