How to stop being ghosted

We’ve all experienced it, and we’ve all done it. One minute you feel like you’ve got a great connection with someone, and then suddenly one side has disappeared.

Unfortunately it seems that ghosting is becoming more common. We have so many options that it can feel hard to commit to someone (and harder still to commit to someone but then be ghosted).

But commitment is needed to make things happen. From working on professional projects to growing friendships – both sides need to show up fully.

Today’s tip for preventing ghosting comes from The Black Swan Group, founded by Chris Voss (I wrote about Chris in an earlier blog about how to respond to hard requests). The Black Swan team are expert negotiators that not only close deals, but ensure they are completed.

To prevent someone ghosting you, talk about implementation. A lot of people spend time working out the deal, but then fail to paint a picture about what’s next. Set clear commitments around actionable next steps, and be sure to talk about what will happen when things don’t go to plan.

As an example, I’m sure you’ve experienced a time when you saw a friend and said, “We should catch up for coffee”. In our heart we know that it won’t happen, even if there is genuine intent to foster the friendship. So go that step further – before you leave that conversation, work out what will actually be meaningful for both sides, and then talk specifics about making it happen.

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