Negotiate around shared interests

It’s human nature to focus more on our differences, but our personal relationships are based more on what we share.

So you will gain an incredible advantage in connecting with people if you simply focus on similarities, especially during negotiations.

Robert Cialdini illustrates this point excellently in his article: The Language of Persuasion.

Here are two studies he cites in the article that stood out to me.

One study found “rival negotiators failed to identify shared interests or goals 50% of the time—even when those commonalities were real, present, and waiting to be tapped”.

But another study of professional labour and contract negotiators found “the superior practitioners spent 400% more time looking for areas of mutuality (e.g., shared interests) than did their mediocre counterparts”.

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