When our expectations are challenged during conversations, we need time to process.
It takes a lot of mental effort to fit a new piece of information into our established world view.
Yet conversations happen in real-time, and we’re supposed to have a considered response within a second of hearing unexpected news.
It’s little wonder then that we take defensive maneuvers.
We don’t know what the new information means, yet we feel pressured to respond. So we choose to create conflict with our reaction (then quickly regret doing so).
To fix this problem, all you may need is a little time and space to process the new development. And if you don’t feel like this can happen during the conversation, make your default a request to revisit it later.
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