I’ve been told I haven’t written about ice cream for a while. So in this post I’ll use ice cream to illustrate the “free pass”.
Typically when you want to make a change in life, the first step is owning that you want to make a change.
This can be a big first step for some people, because while we may desire change for a while, we choose not to acknowledge it and are happier living with our undesired behaviours.
It takes courage to own that you want to make a change in your life. But upon taking ownership, you then are required to act, and that can be scary.
So sometimes instead of acting, we change our story to incorporate the ownership.
Yes, you now own the fact that you want to make a change, but be careful this doesn’t become a rationalisation. In doing so, you are giving yourself a “free pass” to keep doing the undesired behaviour because you’ve owned up to it.
I’ve done this a LOT with ice cream. Previously I’ve written about being on auto-pilot in the ice cream aisle. That was an example of being good at ignoring the inner voice in our head that knows it’s a bad idea to consume a tub in one sitting, but doing it anyway.
The free pass can be more damaging than ignoring the inner voice. With the free pass, you are agreeing with the inner voice in your head, and then strengthening this narrative by continuing to behave in a way you know you don’t want to. “I own the fact that I eat too much ice cream, so therefore I can eat this tub in one sitting”.
If you want to make a change, first take ownership. But don’t stop there. In what parts of your life are you giving yourself a free pass?
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