The value of being liked

The value of being liked

An underappreciated factor that will influence how far you advance at work is how much you’re liked by those around you.

This point may not sit comfortably with you, as you may think that factors like merit and experience are more important for career advancement. 

I’m not saying that career progression is a popularity contest.

Nor am I saying that being liked is more important than being competent. 

I’m just saying it does make a difference, and if you’re not focusing on your likeability then you may be limiting your career advancement. 

Many companies are now highlighting likeability as a key determinant for great workplace culture. 

Netflix is perhaps the most famous example of this, proudly proclaiming their aversion to “Brilliant Jerks” to anyone who wants to work there:

On our dream team, there are no brilliant jerks as they are detrimental to great teamwork. We insist on decent human interactions, no matter how brilliant someone may be. When highly capable people work together well, they inspire each other to be more creative, more productive and ultimately more successful as a team than they could be individually. 

I’ve experienced the benefits of focusing on likeability during my career, and I’d like to illustrate this with an example.

When I was working as Head of Operations in funds management, a lot of my engagement with others was based around problems. 

This was the nature of the role, as I had to respond quickly and effectively to problems that presented so that the team could best focus on driving great value for clients. 

However, I started to notice people getting tense when I approached them. I realised that since I’m mostly coming to people with problems, they were gradually forming a negative association with me (despite how well we worked together). 

I realised I needed to break this negative association, and I did this by bringing in chocolate for the office.

Everyone loves chocolate, and the simple act of regularly refreshing a chocolate bowl made a big difference with my connections.

Here is one final argument about why being liked matters. 

Let’s say that you are going for a promotion against a colleague, and on every metric you’re the same except likeability. Who do you think will get the promotion?

So, how can you become more liked at work?

The answer is increasing the frequency of positive associations with those around you. 

What are little things you can do over time that will help connect with your colleagues in a more personal way?

Here are some examples (other than free chocolate, which is always a hit):

  • Go out of your way to compliment others, particularly when they do great work. 
  • Catch up regularly over coffee or a bite to eat. 
  • Remember special moments like birthdays.
  • Add some fun to the everyday routine (we once had a Committee Meeting on the 4th of May, and we opened the meeting with “May the 4th be with you”). 
  • Be curious about your colleagues’ interests and passions. 

Overall, just appreciate that business is always personal. So if you want to progress at work, invest in your working relationships.


Thanks for reading to the end of this article!

As a gift, please enjoy special access to my new online course to help you Advance Your Career. This course is so new I haven’t promoted it yet, so you’re among the first to find out about it – and as a special offer, you can pay as much or as little as you like for it right now. I hope it helps!

Quarter Life Academy Logo horizontal

Life Coaching For Your 20’s and 30’s
Our team would love to hear from you! Simply complete the Contact Form on our website.

Join Our Mailing List

We post insights to help you on your journey EVERY DAY! Join our mailing list for daily guidance on all things career, health, relationships and life!

Learn more about our coaching program

Please submit this form and you’ll hear from our team within a day to schedule your 10-minute discovery call!

Subscribe for daily insights to your inbox

By submitting this form you will receive an email with the Quarter Life Framework. You will also join our Mailing List to receive daily insights about getting the most from your Quarter Life! You may unsubscribe at any time.